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What Not to Stick In Your Vagina…

9/12/2017

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Every couple of months I read a new article about something that needs to be placed in your vagina for a rather steep price.  Ironic, right, since your mom generally teaches you from a young age to not stick strange things into the vagina?  Usually these products have something to do with some actress or another.   So, do these products serve any purpose in your vagina or is this just a way to scam you into purchasing something truly worthless?  Let’s see if mom knows best after all…

First there was vaginal steaming, which was touted on a celebrity website.  So what is vaginal steaming, exactly?  It involves positioning your vagina for up to 45 minutes over a steaming pot of herbs such as rosemary or basil.  I guess you could figure out how to do this yourself or pay $100 a session at a fancy spa offering such services.  The idea is that the steam can relax your muscles and help rejuvenate your vagina. Spas that offer these services even claim that this increases fertility and helps treat weight loss.  If steaming your vagina could help with weight loss or getting pregnant, I think we would see a vagina steaming spa at every corner.  In reality, vaginal steaming is probably more likely to result in burn to sensitive areas (ouch just thinking about it!) than it is to help you reach your weight-loss goals.

Then, came jade eggs.  For $66, you can purchase a 1-inch egg shaped stone made of jade to put in your vagina.  So why would I want to put stones in my vagina, you might ask.  Apparently, these magical rocks allows you to have better sex, increases bladder control, prevents prolapse, and, my personal favorites, intensifying feminine energy and invigorating our life force.  What can’t these jade stones do?  There’s nothing about weight loss this time, though.  However the real question remains: Is there any scientific evidence backing the purported benefits?  The answer is NO.  Even so, if you want Jade eggs for your vagina, you may have to wait.  According to the website, demand is so high that these eggs are currently sold out!!

Now the latest fad is wasp nests in your vagina.  Yes you read that correctly!  On Etsy, you can purchase oak galls, a medicinal paste of bark and wasp excreta (yep, that stuff that comes out of wasps) to put in your vagina.  The product is touted on Etsy for its ability to tighten and dry the vagina.  But really folks, who wants a dry vagina? That would just make intercourse more uncomfortable and increase your risk of infection and abrasions.   Brings a whole new meaning to the birds and the bees (or wasps), huh?  Just for the record, please don't place birds in there either.

Why do people keep on coming up with all these strange things to put in your vagina?  Hint, hint it’s got something to do with $$.  The list keeps on getting longer and crazier.  It’s especially frustrating because most of these items are touted under the guise or organic, natural, and holistic when they really should be under dangerous and expensive.  Before placing anything in your vagina, please talk to your provider because, chances are, a number of these products are likely to result in more harm than good, and your vagina is remarkable enough all on its own.

Dr. Pam
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