So, you grew a baby for nine months and then either had a vaginal delivery or c- section. Its been about 6 weeks and between being sleep deprived and noticing lots of changes in your body, you have questions about being intimate with your partner again. Below are frequently asked questions that I get about intercourse after having a baby. Hope this helps!
Do I really have to wait a full six weeks to have sex? Usually, this is a partner question :) I think this depends on what kind of delivery you had. If you had a vaginal delivery and had stitches placed, I would wait until your six-week visit and make sure that your sutures have dissolved before resuming intercourse. Now if you were one of those lucky ones that had a vaginal delivery and had no tears, you can technically resume intercourse sooner. However, resuming intercourse too soon does increase the risk of an intrauterine infection. Recovery from a c/s is hard and the risk of infection is even higher, so after a c/s I would probably encourage you to wait the full six weeks.
Why is my vagina so dry after having a baby? So, having a baby does not cause vaginal dryness. Breastfeeding causes dryness. When you are breastfeeding, your body releases a hormone called prolactin and this shuts down hormones likes estrogen and progesterone from being produced. Your body is essentially behaving as though you are going through menopause. A lot of breast feeding mothers actually experience hot flashes! This lack of estrogen causes the walls of the vagina to become thin and dry. Trust me- this will get better. By six months, even most lactating mothers start to ovulate and produce hormones. So, what can I do about this? I tell all my breast-feeding mothers to use lots of lubricant until they get comfortable with some of those physiologic changes. For some women, even lubricant does not help with the dryness. In these circumstances I would talk to your ob/gyn and see if you may need some vaginal estrogen to help with the dryness.
My vagina feels different. For most women the anatomy will return to normal after some initial healing and with time. However, for some women they experience some extensive pelvic floor damage during delivery and these changes can affect their ability to be intimate. The initial focus should be on pelvic floor muscle exercises, adequate lubrication and maybe even some physical therapy. I would talk to your provider and see what they recommend.
My libido is gone. I’m so busy with the baby that I don’t even want to think about sex. This is a very common feeling that many new moms go through. Being sleep deprived and stressed about being a new parent can definitely be a libido killer. For many women their bodies feel different- weight gain/stretch marks- the list goes on and on and these can be added stressors. For better or worse, your body will change. There are several things that you can do that will help you get through this initial period. First, talk to your partner and make sure they understand what you are going through. Second, try carving out some time daily for you- meditation, reading, fitness. You need to take care of you. Finally make sure you and your partner have some time together without the baby. Don’t let your new job as a parent completely overshadow your relationship with your partner- get a babysitter/ family member and have a date night. Make sure to schedule time for just the two of you!
Dr. Pam
Do I really have to wait a full six weeks to have sex? Usually, this is a partner question :) I think this depends on what kind of delivery you had. If you had a vaginal delivery and had stitches placed, I would wait until your six-week visit and make sure that your sutures have dissolved before resuming intercourse. Now if you were one of those lucky ones that had a vaginal delivery and had no tears, you can technically resume intercourse sooner. However, resuming intercourse too soon does increase the risk of an intrauterine infection. Recovery from a c/s is hard and the risk of infection is even higher, so after a c/s I would probably encourage you to wait the full six weeks.
Why is my vagina so dry after having a baby? So, having a baby does not cause vaginal dryness. Breastfeeding causes dryness. When you are breastfeeding, your body releases a hormone called prolactin and this shuts down hormones likes estrogen and progesterone from being produced. Your body is essentially behaving as though you are going through menopause. A lot of breast feeding mothers actually experience hot flashes! This lack of estrogen causes the walls of the vagina to become thin and dry. Trust me- this will get better. By six months, even most lactating mothers start to ovulate and produce hormones. So, what can I do about this? I tell all my breast-feeding mothers to use lots of lubricant until they get comfortable with some of those physiologic changes. For some women, even lubricant does not help with the dryness. In these circumstances I would talk to your ob/gyn and see if you may need some vaginal estrogen to help with the dryness.
My vagina feels different. For most women the anatomy will return to normal after some initial healing and with time. However, for some women they experience some extensive pelvic floor damage during delivery and these changes can affect their ability to be intimate. The initial focus should be on pelvic floor muscle exercises, adequate lubrication and maybe even some physical therapy. I would talk to your provider and see what they recommend.
My libido is gone. I’m so busy with the baby that I don’t even want to think about sex. This is a very common feeling that many new moms go through. Being sleep deprived and stressed about being a new parent can definitely be a libido killer. For many women their bodies feel different- weight gain/stretch marks- the list goes on and on and these can be added stressors. For better or worse, your body will change. There are several things that you can do that will help you get through this initial period. First, talk to your partner and make sure they understand what you are going through. Second, try carving out some time daily for you- meditation, reading, fitness. You need to take care of you. Finally make sure you and your partner have some time together without the baby. Don’t let your new job as a parent completely overshadow your relationship with your partner- get a babysitter/ family member and have a date night. Make sure to schedule time for just the two of you!
Dr. Pam
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